Keith Painton was a radio announcer from Kansas City. He frequently appears in Calvin productions(see "The Bright Young Newcomer" and "Murder on the Screen," for example) and narrates two Centron films that I've found. This is one of them. He plays Dr. Wentworth, a scientist who studies the effects of alcohol. Actually, this Centron film presents two simultaneous "stories"---one is Wentworth in his lab showing us the effects of alcohol on lab rats, as well as showing us teenagers in Aetna Drive-O Trainers. The other is of a group of friends who are all drinking together one night and seem to be confused over who should drive who home. There's the non-drinker, the moderate drinker, and the heavy drinker, and in all the confusion, there's a "surprise" ending . . . the moderate drinker gets killed (or seriously injured?) in a car wreck. His "friends" respond appropriately ("Oh well . . ."). Good camp/humor value. According to Centron production records, this was produced by Art Wolf, directed by Herk Harvey, and written by Trudy Travis and Art Wolf, with photography by Norm Stuewe and Maurice Prather and sound and editing by Chuck Lacey and Dan Palmquist. Highly recommended.

This film tells me that drinking responsibly is worse than getting completely hammered. Also, great footage of the narrator torturing rats.

Three Couples, one smart, one stupid and one very stupid are the textbook examples we observe in "none for the road" The first male in the couple has had way to much to drink, the second male, a few too much, the third, just ginger ale :), the girl hanging around the person who's had way too much to drink shrugs him off, but needs to get home. The no-drinking couple makes excuses about not taking her (which is interesting) so finally she goes with the couple who's had a few too much. When the no-drinking couple see an accident when they're driving home, guess who's the victim? They're actually too nonchelant about it, after all, they were friends (I think), grasping a "Oh shucks" attitude about their friend's predicament.
Oh! And througout all of this, a "psychologist" (who looks like someone I've seen in a social guidance film before (ahhh! The Bright Young Newcomer boss! Right! Thanks Ken!) blabbers all sorts of mumbo jumbo about liquor filled rats, how they can't keep their balance, and the most hokiest driving test cars I've ever seen. Good for a hoot or two.

Dan the non-drinker, Keith the moderate drinker, and Jerry the heavy drinker all drive home from a party accompanied by their girlfriends, except for Jerry, whose girlfriend picks a fight with him to avoid having to ride home with him in his condition. She accepts a ride with Keith and his girlfriend. Later, Dan and his girlfriend, who have been worrying all night about Jerry driving home alone, come across a car accident. They immediately fear Jerry was responsible, but no, the cops tell Dan that they arrested Jerry earlier in the evening for weaving down the road. Phew!, Dan's girlfriend thinks, but then discovers that Dan is holding a good luck charm he gave Jerry's girlfriend earlier in the evening, which he found at the accident scene. MeaningÂÂoh no!ÂÂit was Keith's car that got into the accident! This melodramatic film features another scene of intoxicated rats having trouble performing rat tricks that's supposed to prove something. Like most Centron films, the teen actors in it are both amateurish and very believable. Features a memorable scene of teenagers doing drunk-driving exercises on Aetna Drive-O-Trainers, which are incredibly dorky-looking driving simulators. Watch out for that delivery manÂÂd'oh!!
Ratings: Camp/Humor Value: ***. Weirdness: ***. Historical Interest: ****. Overall Rating: ****. Also available on Boozers & Losers, Vol. 1.